There is absolutely no doubt that having kids changes your whole life. You know they are going to change absolutely everything and you can be as prepared as possible when buying everything baby needs but you have no idea just how much your life changes. Simple things like doing the food shopping, going to events such as weddings and having that lie in on a Saturday morning all change. You still do all these things but you just do them differently after kids. As a parent you often ask yourself “What did I do before the kids came along?”
Sleep. Oh boy did I love my sleep. I would stay up until 10pm on a work night then I’d snuggle up in bed ready for a great uninterrupted nights sleep and wake around 7am for work. On a weekend I would stay up as a late as I wanted and easily sleep in until at least 8-9am. Occasionaly on a Sunday afternoon I’d take a nap. Weekends were so chilled.
Sleep. What is this thing you call sleep? I am constantly yawning and always saying “I’m tired”. There is no more staying up until 10pm because by 5pm I am struggling to keep my eyes open. Most of the time the kids bedtime is also my bedtime. I have turned into a granny. The Saturday lie in is no more, if I get to sleep in until 6am on a Saturday, that is my lie in. There are no more Sunday afternoon naps. I am also very lucky if I get a great solid few hours of unbroken sleep.
My appearance. I always made sure my hair was lovely, washed and straightened twice a week. I’d wear make up every day. I’d have more clothes than I actually needed and from expensive places. I’d spend a fortune on shoes like converse, vans, uggs. My nails would always be painted too.
My appearance. You know the famous mum bun? Yeah I’ve adopted that look a lot, especially towards the end of the week and my hair is getting a bit greasy but I just haven’t got the time or energy to dry and straighten it. My hair gets washed once a week, I am lucky my hair is thick and doesn’t get greasy quickly. I straighten it once a week and it looks nice for a day or two and then I just give up with it and up it goes. It’ll do. I probably have enough clothes for the week. I do washing every day now so why do I need loads of clothes? Plus I’d much rather buy the kids nice new clothes from places like next. They have a better more expensive wardrobe than me! I just go to Primark or if I feel like treating myself I head to my favourite shop, New Look. My nails are terrible, I paint them and within minutes they are chipped already and I don’t bother to redo them or touch them up, I just leave them. Instead of owning 10 pairs of converse and 5 pairs of vans I now own 1 pair of each and maybe some pumps from New Look. I sometimes also brave going out of the house without any makeup on at all. Oh well, it’s only makeup.
Shopping. Every Saturday I’d go into town with my mum and nan and we’d happily spend all day shopping, we’d also stop for a drink and have some lunch. I used to love Saturdays! Especially after payday, I would spend a fortune! When I look back now it was mostly on crap I didn’t actually need but just wanted because it looked cute. As for food shopping, it was an easy in and out trip. Bobs your uncle, done.
Shopping. Omg. Total stress. Nightmare. I actually dread going shopping now. It wasn’t so bad when I just had Fletcher and he was a baby because he would just happily sit in his pram watching everything and everybody. It did take twice as long as I would have to stop for nappy changes and feeds but honestly, that was a breeze compared to shopping with a 2 year old Fletcher and 1 year old Eden. I actually try and avoid shopping unless Fletcher is at nursery and then just me and Eden go. Fletcher gets bored shopping and starts messing around, being naughty and being out in public it can be quite embarrassing. There’s a full blown tantrum going on and people are staring judging and you’re starting to get fed up and just want to go home because what is the point? Food shopping, thankfully not as bad although Fletcher and Eden have to be separated. Yep, they cannot sit in the same trolley next to each other. If Eden so much as breathes on Fletcher there’s shouting, screaming, kicking, hair pulling and Fletcher acting like he is allergic to her. As long as they are both in different trolleys and they’re not tired and have a full belly food shopping is actually ok.
Events. So you’re going to a wedding! You have all morning to get ready and make yourself look pretty. You put your music on pretty loud and just chill out and get ready at your own pace, no sweat, no pressure. You can look forward to staying out all night enjoying and celebrating. You get a lot drunk and just enjoy it! Same for any family birthday parties or meals.
Events. You get an invitation to any kind of celebration and automatically your first thought is the kids. You then start asking yourself “What time can we make it? what time we will have to come home? what about bed time”. You have about an hour to get everybody ready and out the house all in clean sticky finger free clothes. It’s actually like a mission and you break a sweat just doing it. You arrive to these events and have a couple of hours before the kids start getting tired and p*ssed off. One of you has to stay sober to look after the kids and you can guarantee it’s always mummy. If you’re really lucky granny might keep the kids entertained for you so technically you have a couple of hours kid free so you can mingle and have actual adult conversation. ADULT CONVERSATION.
You get the idea of life before and after kids.
This brings me back to my question at the start of the post, “what did I do before the kids came along?” because I wouldn’t change the mayhem that is now my life as a mum. I couldn’t imagine going back to life before kids. Ok, I sometimes think I miss that lie in on a Saturday but don’t we all from time to time? We’re only human. Life with kids is exhausting, hectic and crazy but it’s also amazing and as I’ve said before, the best job in the world!
So when you feel like you need to just scream because the kids are driving you insane and you wish you could have a bit of your pre kid(s) life back for a day or a weekend, remember you are not alone and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, it means you are human and you’re doing a great job raising tiny monsters because it can be hard at times. You’ve got this!
What was your life like before kids? What is your life like now?